ABC’S of Self Love
Just as the alphabet is the foundation for words, sentences, communication, and education. These ABC’s of self-love are the foundation for a euphoric life full of joy.
A is for Acceptance. Accept yourself as you are TODAY!
B is for Be Kind. Be Kind to yourself.
C is for Cultivate. Cultivate your truth.
D is for Distance. Distance yourself from things and people that don't bring you joy.
E is for Evaluate. Every 90 days do a self-evaluation. Are current actions getting you to where you want to be in life? Are they aligned with your truth?
F is for Feelings. Allow yourself to feel an array of emotions. If your sad, it's ok, embrace it. Too many times we hide emotions to appease others or because society has taught us just to be "happy," and content.
G is for Gravitate. Gravitate towards your North Star. What’s leading you in life?
H is for Humility. “Clarity and consistency are not enough: the quest for truth
requires humility and effort.”
I is for Invest. Invest in
yourself. Not just a pair of shoes and a Pedi, but things that will enhance the
quality of your life, i.e. personal trainer, life coach.
J is for Joy. “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
K is for Keep. Keep your head up beautiful.
L is for Love. Love yourself enough to not compromise yourself
M is for Move on!
N is for Nurture. Nurture your strengths!
O is for Own. Own your truth!
P is for Protect. Protect your insecurities.
Q is for Question. Question things and situations until you gain clarity.
R is for Respect. Respect yourself!
S is for Sexy. Preserve your sexy!
T is for Transparency. Be transparent and allow others to see your inner light.
U is for understanding. Seek to understand, then to be understood.
V is for voids. Fill the voids.
W is for worth. Know your worth!
X is for excitement (ehhh).
Y is for youth.
Z is for Zest. Find your Zest, things and people that bring you excitement and enjoyment.
My first love
Do you remember your first love? I do.
I was in my twenties. I thought I had found love before, but it wasn't that unconditional fairy tale love that Disney prepares all little princesses for. I had known this person forever, but I didn't always like them. Oddly enough, as I learned more and more about my love, this attraction developed. Feelings that I never experienced were ignited. Smiles that I had never even seen were formed. Impulsive decisions that I would once make, now I would consider my love and the impact it would have. Little things that once annoyed me were now okay. Hanging out and doing nothing with my love became my favorite thing to do. I would write little love notes and plan special dates. I tried to keep this love affair a secret, but it was written all over my face. One day I looked in the mirror and realized I had fallen in love with myself.
“A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror.”
I don’t want to portray that I didn’t fully like myself prior to this or even that I had poor self-esteem. I just didn’t love myself fully. People are conditioned to say “yes, I like myself,” or even “of course I love myself.” However their actions scream a different response. I thought I loved myself. I was confident. I knew I was beautiful. Hunay, you couldn’t tell me I wasn’t cute. I was beautiful on the outside and frumpy on the inside. When I learned to truly love myself and put the same efforts into loving myself as I would another person, I blossomed. Just as a caterpillar emerging from its cocoon into a beautiful butterfly. I had a new glow. I looked in the mirror and suddenly, I was the most gorgeous I have ever looked. My smile was radiating and my aura cascading. Just being around me was a different experience.
“Loving yourself…does not mean being self-absorbed or narcissistic, or disregarding others. Rather it means welcoming yourself as the most honored guest in your own heart, a guest worthy of respect, a lovable companion.”
Others may mistake this self-love as conceit or narcissism, but that’s so far-fetched. Self-love should exert the same nurturing energy and attention as we exert for our children, mates, families, and friends.
Society screams that we should love ourselves, but how? There aren't classes in school for emotional development. Society does not teach us to love ourselves, but merely loathe ourselves. I'm going to list a few ways to help you love yourself more.
Ways to make love to yourself more
1. Forgive yourself.
2. Forgive others.
3. Stop criticizing yourself from today forward.
4. Take responsibility for your actions and decisions.
5. Be kind to yourself.
6. Respect yourself.
7. Write love letters to yourself describing the things you love about yourself.
8. Accept compliments from others.
9. Accept yourself as you are today.
10. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations.
11. Celebrate your accomplishments, even the small ones.
Usually I go in details, but I want this to resonate, as it takes time. Even if you just re-read the list a few times to get it into your subconscious, will be one step toward your euphoria.
Narcissism or Self-Esteem??
I used to think I was a narcissist. People would tell me that my self-esteem was too high. I believed them for years. I took the basic definition of a narcissist, that I was consumed with self. Most people in their late teens are a little self-absorbed not to mention spoiled, so I wasn't truly concerned with the label. I went with it, but didn't internalize the negative traits associated with narcissism. Later I learned that those that were so “concerned” with my esteem merely were mirroring their issues on to me. It’s rare someone is going to tell you “I don’t fully like myself, and I’m uncomfortable with how comfortable you are with yourself.”
via
Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself. Self-confidence is how you feel/think about your abilities. They go together like peanut butter and jelly. These feelings help you to subconsciously and consciously determine the things you do and the things you accept from others.
I love me some me. I celebrate my successes and my failures. I live by the thought if he or she can do it, so can I. They aren't any smarter than I. I really believe this.
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.
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I know I have faults (a long list), and I accept them. I know I'm not perfect, but rather perfectly imperfect. I don’t think I’m better than anyone, but I am equal to. My playing ground is level. I don't put anyone down or above me.
My parents used to tell me I was amazing and I could do ANYTHING I wanted. Guess what? I believed them. Still do! Adults uplift younger children and we even lie to them sometimes. You know that picture full of colorful squiggly lines that is “beautiful and amazing,” although we really don’t know what it is. Truly it doesn't matter what’s on that paper. That smiling face full of joy and excitement and pride is what matters. In time, the child will learn his or her strengths. Even if drawing isn't their strength, drawing may provide a great stress relief and become a passion. Side note: not every passion leads to purpose. However, in recognizing passion it helps lead us to our purpose.
“Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry.
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My parents would have dinner parties and allow me to sing for their guests. I cannot sing! Not at all! I would sing Whitney Houston's Greatest Hits and those guests would cheer me on, but I now know that I can't sing. Nothing changed from then to now, but those adults built me up. I can carry a tune, but that’s the extent of that. I love singing and I love music. It makes me feel great in good and bad times. I have a playlist on my iTunes entitled “pity party” whenever I was upset I would get five to ten minutes of listening to the best sad songs I've ever heard. I used to write songs and would/will make up a song and sing in a moment’s notice just to make someone smile. That’s my purpose…helping others find their happy.
“Hard work beats talent”
My Huni is a personal development coach aka personal trainer. He was working with this kid at a basketball camp. I remember he came home and nicknamed the kid "mission impossible." I ask about this kid weekly. I'm a sucker for the underdog, I want everyone to succeed. This is the 5th week and Huni says mission impossible has so much heart and drive that he puts in double the work to make up for the lack of natural ability.
Self-esteem...can
be evaluated simply? How much do I love me? A lot.....is a systematic response.
Answer it in terms of : I won't accept XYZ because I recognize my worth. I am
worth: unconditional love, fulfilling interpersonal relationships, satisfying
work, an abundance of money.
Anything less than your defined worth...is cheating yourself.
If you don't believe your true worth, the Universe won't believe you and certain things will be held from you. Exactly what you project will be returned to you. Want to stop dating losers...think higher of yourself. We attract what we are. Want a better job, produce better results. Don't allow yourself to just be content unless you truly are content. Contentment doesn't include complaining.
Again, anything you put your mind to you CAN do. You have to want to, believe you can, and get to work. Naysayers will forever attempt to instill their fear into us by distraction and saying that we can't do something. How we feel about ourselves impacts our interactions throughout life. How we view our successes and failures determines future failures and successes. Are you mission impossible or mission I AM POSSIBLE? Email me, I would love to know!
Live. Love. Action
1. Define your self-esteem?
2. Love yourself!
3. Examine how you may not be honoring your defined self-esteem.