What making a Pink Lemonade Stand taught me

Last weekend my dad, Huni, and my little boo created the lemonade stand. 

This was our inspiration:

via

I found the picture via Pinterest and I thought it would be difficult. I text my dad the picture and asked if we could make it. His response, "anything for baby girl!" Gotta love my daddy. 

So I told Huni who is not handy at all, that he was going to have to help. He replied okay, not knowing what help actually meant. 

Saturday comes and I start getting nervous. Can we actually carry it out?

I show daddy the picture again and he starts figuring our the measurements of the boards we'll need. We head to the hardware store and get the materials. At the register daddy offers to pay for everything. He said "consider it a donation." I was ecstatic and put my wallet down. 

It's real in these non-profit organization streets. 

Those bugs were eating my skin!!

A few hours and 235,578 mosquito bites later it was done. 

It looks so much better than the inspiration. 

I couldn't believe I had so much doubt before we started. 

The three things I took away from the experience: 

1. Don't let self-doubt keep you from going forward.

I initially doubted we could pull it off and ours turned out even better. Inspiration can easily turn into comparison; so be careful! 

2. Collobarate! Collaborate! Collaborate!

A lot of times it's easier to just do things yourself and not have to deal with other people's excuses and drama.  However, I knew I could not pull this off without daddy. I didn't have the tools, skill, or eye to complete it. Always keep people around that are smarter than you. Plus I solicited Huni's help because I knew he's stronger than I am, and would be able to complete the delegated tasks that daddy would give him. 

3. Stay true to your visions. 

Last summer I was inspired to have the lemonade stand and I knew exactly how I wanted everything to be. Giving up on the lemonade stand would have been settling. 

Werk Wednesdays Series

Working online you learn the ins and outs of online business. That and the fact that I adore online biz. I read books, articles, listen to podcasts, and attend webinars all on business. Alot of people say the same things, but with their own spin. That's the beauty of the internets-adding your own spin. However, there are some things that are just classic and must have's/must do! 

On social media I see soooo many "no's" and "hunay who told you..." So instead of shaking my head at these occurences, I am offering some advice to the new online female entrepreneur. Audio + images + blog posts all designed to teach. It will be very simple things, that it would be assumed people know. However, post after post confirms...not everyone knows. 

Pink Lemonade Stand: Fostering Entrepreneurship in Girls

When you think of summer you think of children playing outdoors, vacations, barbecues, and generally a good time! At least I know I do. Many people think refreshing sweet tea and fresh lemonade. 

Mid winter I wanted fresh lemonade and thought how I would have the Diva groups start lemonade stands. Then I thought teach them to truly create a lemonade stand or whatever their creative minds can conjure up. An idea was born...

I am hosting a virtual Lemonade Stand for young girls next month through my nonprofit organization, Divas, Inc. It's fostering entrepreneurship in young girls and those young girls at hearts. 

We are in a choose yourself era, where you can make your dreams come true. You don't have to wait for someone to discover how amazing you are. You discover how amazing you are and you act on it. You create the things that you want and dream of, instead of PASSIVELY waiting. 

There are sooooo many gatekeepers and naysayers that prevent people from believing in themselves. There used to be a time when people had to convince others to believe in them, but these days people don't even believe in themselves. 

Societies and parents are on auto repeat "go to school, make good grades, and go to college." Even though it's proving that college degrees aren't keeping these student from being under-employed and on the long list of the unemployed. I will applaud the efforts to encourage girls to explore fields that have been traditionally considered male jobs. I'm all for furthering your education if thats what YOU want to do. 

However, I still rarely see girls being encouraged to be entrepreneurs. The purpose of the workshop is truly to encourage creativity and belief that if they dream big and work towards an established goal...they can make it happen. The event is open to girls 5 years old to 17 years old. We will create, have fun, create some more, chit chat, create and cultivate dream(ers). 

I have solicited local positive female entrepreneurs to assist with the activities and empowerment. I will keep you updated.  

How are you choosing yourself?

Girl boss or Leadhers?

I saw this hashtag on Instagram a few weeks back. Then discovered it was a title of a book. Founder of Nasty Gal. I haven't checked to see if the library has a copy yet. I wouldn't buy it, definitely would have to be a library share or borrow. 

Earlier I posted a quote on Instagram as I typically do and I used the hashtag #girlboss it made me think how the term boss doesn't sit well with me. I'm big on words & what we speak out of our mouths. 

I want to be a leader. I am a leader. Natural born. 

Mya Angelou passed last week and she was a leader. Oprah is a leader. True innovaters leading to change. Who remembers bosses?!? Most people don't even like their boss. I remember I used to always correct a supervisor when he would introduce himself as my boss. No boo, you're my supervisor. No one is my boss...I control me. 

Words are simply words. I get it. Maybe my rebellion was just showing out.

But words have meanings that we've all grown to know. Isn't that why we had vocabulary in elementary? It wasn't enough for us to spell them correctly; we had to know what they meant, and how to use them correctly.

Remember you're striving for a purposeful life. 

Here are some words I avoid using: Can't. Hope. 

Can't- unless it's not humanly possible, then I won't say "can't"...I may need to say I don't want to...or I don't want to try. Those tend to be more accurate. 

Hope-hope is a contradiction. Instead of believing we insert a bit of uncertainty. "I hope you have a good day." Eliminate the possibility of the negative and state "have an amazing day!" Or "I hope this happens..." You don't have faith that it will occur when you say hope.

According to the authors of Words Can Change Your Brain:

By holding a positive and optimistic [word] in your mind, you stimulate frontal lobe activity. This area includes specific language centers that connect directly to the motor cortex responsible for moving you into action. And as our research has shown, the longer you concentrate on positive words, the more you begin to affect other areas of the brain. Functions in the parietal lobe start to change, which changes your perception of yourself and the people you interact with. A positive view of yourself will bias you toward seeing the good in others, whereas a negative self-image will include you toward suspicion and doubt. Over time the structure of your thalamus will also change in response to your conscious words, thoughts, and feelings, and we believe that the thalamic changes affect the way in which you perceive reality.

So not only am I a leader. I am a leadHER and I'm all for EmpowHERment. 

What one word should you stop using?!? Let me know over on Facebook. 

Who is on your money team?

We all have that one girlfriend that we can call on no matter what! Doesn't matter the time or topic. We don't have to even think about her judging us or telling another soul. She is our personal piece of heaven on earth. 

When it comes to our BIG dreams and goals, sometimes our girl just isn't who we need to talk to. She will want the best for us, but she's not holding us accountable for our stuff. You know really calling us out on our stuff when we don't complete the things that will take us to where we ultimately want to be. 

In order to succeed you need to place yourself amongst those you view as successful. 

“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. ”

— Jim Rohn

I have distanced myself from people over the past few years for the following reasons: 

1.) I'm really busy trying to change the world. 

2.) I don't have time for gossip & negative energy. 

3.) I'm seeking genuine connections to aide in the projects I'm working on.

4.) Not everyone understands the hustle and sometimes I just don't feel like explaining WHY I work as hard for my dreams. 

When I first heard of the “Money Team,” I giggled. Floyd Money Mayweather is a boxer who has coined his support system as The Money Team. Each member is successful and hard working. We can’t deny their work or hustle. A little unorthodox and crazy, but successful and hard working never the less. 

When developing your money team you need someone that's objective and honest. They aren't going to agree with all ideas and practices just because they like you. You want honest feedback and suggestions. We all grow from criticism. 

Benefits of your money team: 

Your money team will be there for you to bounce ideas off of. 

This team will actively seek opportunities that benefit you. 

This team wants you to win just as bad as you want to breathe. 

You have to want it as bad as you want to breathe. 

There's no competition within this team. As the love and support is reciprocal. As they are helping and guiding you, you are doing the same for them. 

This team could be comprised of two or more people. You could meet weekly via phone, email, a Facebook group, or Skype. You all decide. Your team will be a mastermind group that is exclusive to sharing your dreams, goals, and desires. Perfect for go getters who may get sluggish from time to time. 

Weekly review what tasks each person needs to complete to get a step closer to their desired goal. 

Come up with systems that work for you, share them. Encourage them to do the same. 

Your team could be compromised of people doing similar things or different. The important factor is you are all actively pursuing your goals, dreams, and passions. 

This team will be your pick me up when you're feeling discouraged and feel like you're stuck and all the work or actions you're putting forth are in vain. They will be there to celebrate your mini and humongous successes. 

We all need support. Success is usually very lovely. It doesn't have to be that way for you, unless you want it. If you find some one that has impeccable drive that you admire shoot them an email or message asking if they are in a mastermind or have an accountability partner. Give them a few sentences on what you do and wait for their response. 

Boom! It's that simple. 

I was thinking...no I can't be your accountability partner...you know I would love to...but I truly cant. I am however thinking about having a free monthly call where we all can celebrate whatever. Call it a passion party. So once a month for an hour hop on a group conference line and chat it up about goals, dreams, and passions. Maybe even a little girl talk if we have time. Still playing around with the idea, but I'm always up for a good passion party. Let me know on Facebook, if you would attend. 

Quarter Two Living

Quarter Two starts today..are you ready?!? I know you aren't a coaster, you know someone just coasting through life, and these goals and dreams that you have are attached to completion dates. Naturally, I'm not a very organized person, so the thought of completion dates and quarters used to intimidate me a little. Coasting was cool in the 90's, but what car doesn't offer cruise control now? Get it? Coasting…cruise control, it was funny the first time I typed it. 

Unless you're okay with how your life is this very moment and are perfectly okay (hey grammar police I did that on purpose) with living today over and over for the next 30 plus years, by all means keep dreaming and creating goals that you'll never take action on. Thinking about doing is not doing...it's just thinking. 

Some people plan for the entire year. My mind doesn't work well under large constraints. 90 days is a push, but I know it's imperative to my success. I've completed all my Quarter 1 goals. Woop! woop! Wanna know how I did it?!? I lived intentional. 

We all have things we want. Write them down. Stop storing everything in your mind and you'll decrease some stress, worry, and improve your sleep. That's the psychologist in me, I apologize. ;) 

Determine how long it will take to get what you want. 

If you want a new pair of red bottoms, don't feel silly or bad, that's what you want. But figure out a plan on how to get them. So you might be thinking, well duh!?! Swipe my credit card. *clears throat* if another goal on that list is to save more money or get out of debt, you have a big of a contradiction, but no worries. 

This is why you write it down, so you can process it and come up with alternatives. 

You want the shoes and to save money (or eliminate debt) [Sn: be super specific and note how much money and print out the shoes or keep the magazine ad so you can see it often. This helps PUSH you to get what you want]. 

Live. Love. Action. 

1. What are three goals for quarter two? 

2. How can you achieve these goals in 90 days? 

3. Will it truly take 90 days for completion? Be honest!

Write it down. Only 3% do and then are more likely to achieve their goals. Write it now!

Self-development is scary

I'm in the process of restructuring KO. Oddly enough I work with more women in creating businesses than personal coaching. I get it building an empire is definitely sexier than working on you.

Yet, it actually confused me for some time. Like why wouldn't you want to be totally together and at peace. So many of us focus on everything else we can achieve first. We acknowledge the faults here and there but we don't go full force on what's needed to get rid of them. You know the saying, "we all have faults," stagnates many from ever working on anything within them. Please note that self-development extends further than just “faults.”

Example:

Shay has trust issues which she openly admits, but isn't willing to look at the source or even take the steps to rid herself of these issues. She signs up with me for biz coaching. Shay and I get her business running. Shay is really crushing it! I'm proud of her, she's proud!  Amazing opportunities start popping up left and right for her business. However, she doesn't believe that the opportunities are legit, based upon her own issues with not being able to trust people.  Subsequently, she misses out many times because she's doubtful and backdoor researching the opportunity.

Change is hard. I'll be the first to admit it's hard....really hard. Then to admit to another person that you need help with whatever *insert vice/fault is* OMG?!? I get it.

My bestie says I try to save everyone and I'm probably guilty as charged. Most people are okay with their chaos and guess what?!? I'm learning to be cool with everyone not wanting to be happy and at peace.  As Project Pat says, “[they] don't want to be saved.”
 I just know firsthand how GOOD life can be with it. Just like I would tell you what my favorite lipstick is and how amazing it is and keeps my lips moisturized, I want you to be happy and fulfilled. If you're reading this, you are definitely headed in the right direction. Anyone not interested in change on any level, wouldn’t read these type of posts. So Kudos to you! I hope you have your GPS on and set towards happiness, freedom, riches...whatever your desire(s) may be. Go ahead and put that desire in google directions, it isn't going to take you anywhere. Sorry sunshine! You will have to do some leg work.

Most don't want to put the work in. They want magic to occur. Happiness, freedom, and riches are all magical but they don't just fall out the sky because you're beautiful. Trust me...I have gazed at the sky many of days and at the most I was lucky to not have had a bird poop on me.

I often joke and say “Operation get my life right!” Operation get my life right is anytime I feel a shift that something in my life isn't aligned. Think of a car’s alignment, if you remove your hands off the steering wheel and if it shifts to the right or the left...you need an alignment.  If I stop doing my daily practices (gratitude, rest, play) then I begin to notice a shift and I need “Operation get my life right.” If I've had more cheat meals in a week then my clean eating regime...then it’s time for “Operation get my life right!”

Seems easy enough.  However, you will never know if you're shifting, if you've never been aligned with your core values and desires. When you begin working on the hard things is when you begin to create internal alignments. It takes time, but with love and patience, it happens.

No worries to my lovely ladies that are truly working on that core alignment. Personal coaching isn't going away, I just want you to be aware when you see some new things. Change can be so hard. ;) Inspirational posts will continue because that's just who I am...always trying to save someone ;)

Protect your peace

I was driving in the car and started thinking about peace, I thought it would be perfect for someone. Maybe you're that someone. :) 

Remember to get on the email list to get VIP info not posted on the blog to include specials, deals, and girl talk. 

Dramaticals are defined as drama productions created by individuals starring them for their own satisfaction and misery. 

Black Female Addicted to Retail

Black female addicted to retail

“And she be dealing with some issues that you can’t believe…Single black female, addicted to retail.”

— Kanye West

My shoe budget was higher than my grocery and savings budget...yeah I know her. If there was a sale at a department store, I knew before the employees.

Shopping addiction is not even touching it.

Retail therapy...if I was upset...I shopped. If I was bored...I shopped. If I was happy...I shopped. If I was hungry...I went to Nordstroms and would shop afterwards.

My most recent frequented sites were fashion sites and my favorite stores. My closet became a store for my friends. I wouldn't wear things twice, plus so many items still have tags on them. I will note I didn't use credit cards to purchase anything during retail therapy as I don't believe in debt.

So what I've noticed in working with minority women that are very similar to the old me. We would rather invest $500-$1000 on a purse (*insert your fancy*) than invest in ourselves.

Investing in ourselves could be coaching, personal trainer, gym membership, a course not covered by financial aid, real estate. Whatever it is...we hold ourselves back waiting for someone else to give us the opportunity. Choose yourself! There are new rules! And guess who makes the rules? You do! You know you have the power to transform your life into every beautiful detail you sit around and dream about. But guess what cupcake? Deferring those dreams because you don’t invest in yourself is such a waste of purpose.

We might say, “when the rate goes down, I'll sign up,” or “it's just too expensive.”

Truly evaluate the things that you wanted to do to further yourself but you didn't invest because you believed that you couldn't afford it.

When I was in grad school, I went to see a therapist. Granted my insurance paid for majority of the costs and I paid the co-pay. But I wanted to evaluate the process and to ensure I was “healed” enough to heal others. Going to that appointment actually helped me with my counseling skills, because now I know how intimidating it can feel going to the first appointment. But that’s another post entirely.

Invest time in yourself. Research things. Google is my BFF, but so is the library. I read about two books a week. Even with my hectic schedule, because there’s so much I need to learn about the things I want to improve on. The library is free unless you forget to return the books. I probably have 22 books checked out right now from business, health, cookbooks, to self-help. Just as I make “me time” to pamper myself, I have time where I invest in myself.

Monetary investments can be scary. I know! I really do. I recently invested in a coach. What a coach has a coach?!? Yes! I’ve learned ALL the greats have coaches. We all need mentors in various areas. I can say I’m an amazing coach, mentor, and therapist, but I don’t know everything. Sometimes I even get discouraged, and depending on the area(s) of your life coaches are there for you. If Michael Jordan and Lebron James can take instruction from a coach, I am definitely coachable. You may not need coaching in any area of your life, but I’m sure there are things that you are deferring that could get you where you truly want in life. Don’t be that lady addicted to retail and make excuses for why you are unable to invest in yourself.

Successful people don’t wait – they spend money, time, and effort on their own growth because they know without doubt it will pay off – for themselves and everyone around them. Failing to invest in yourself is just another form of self-limiting behaviors. 

No!vember

I love November! I was born in November. I love me! Thanksgiving is in November. I love food! I really love food.

I believe we all should do more of what makes us happy, and less of that which doesn't. A lot less, like not all. So for No!vember that's right you guessed it, we are saying No! You like how I included you? You too are joining me. What do you have to lose? 

Adults do what they want to do! 

If someone asks you to do something and you don't want to. Just say No! Go do something you enjoy. Don't feel bad. Invite your friend along to share in the fun. 

If someone is projecting their feelings on to you, just say No! Not today. Direct them to deal with their own feelings. 

“A ‘No’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘Yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.

”

— Mahatma Gandhi

Saying No! Isn't mean it's a means to preserving yourself. People will say no to you and don't take it to heart, sometimes No! Just means the time isn't right. Revel in the beauty of that. 

As in all communication, it's all in how you say it. Not what you say. Check this article out on how to say no. 

No to fear! 

No to injustices! 

No to anything keeping you from your truth! 

What are you saying No! to this month?